“Calm and quiet? You?” I can almost hear my friends calling my bullshit on that. I have to admit I may get loud and chatty at times. But what they don’t know is that it only happens when I’m in the company of my close friends. Other times? Well I am “Calm and quiet…but NOT DEAD” and I know I am definitely not alone.

We live in a world, seemingly, ruled by extroverts. So if you happen to be an introvert, it’s pretty easy to think

“Is there something wrong with me? Why am I not more outgoing? Am I missing out on life, if so why doesn’t it feel like it? ‘cause everyone else seems to think so”.

My personal take on that is:

There is a difference between choosing to live a quiet life and having a social anxiety that turns one’s life into a prison. At the end of the day, if you’re happy living your life the way you do, who cares what others think you should be doing. Right?

An introvert? No way! You’re not an introvert!
Yes I am.
But you’re always so cheerful and friendly, even around people you just met.
So?
So…uh…I mean, you are not a shy person at all.
I never said I was shy, although I am a bit that too.Yes I like good company and especially if I happen to have met people who have my kind of sense of humor. But that doesn’t mean I can take it forever regardless of the fun I’m having. Eventually, I have to get back to my base and close the doors and be left alone. Get my battery recharged so to speak.
Doesn’t everyone?
Nope. When I say “eventually” I mean just a few hours, if that.
Wow! I had no idea.
Nor do a lot of other people,some of which would claim that they could write my biography if asked to do so …easily, much less.

So you don’t like people?
It’s not that I don’t like people.
But why then do you feel the need to stay away from them and avoid them any chance you’ve got?
As I said before, it’s not that I don’t ike people or I try to avoid them all the time. It’s more like I have to be on my own at certain times.
Does this go for everyone or only the strangers?
Actually I don’t have much problem with strangers since we don’t have any interractions or skin deep small talk. It’s the people I know that I avoid.
Because they are more likely to talk to you and take your time?
Exactly! They take “MY” time.
What’s wrong with that?
Well…My time is “MINE”, it’s not for anybody else to take away when they feel like it.
But it shows that they like you. They care about you enough to interract with you. Shouldn’t you be glad and honored even? There are many lonely people out there who would love to have what you have.
I’m not saying I don’t care about them. But there are certain times I have to be alone to be able to be productive. Because that’s the only way I can truly focus on what I’m doing.
Do you wanna be completely isolated, then?
To tell you the truth that’s not what I want at all. Most of the time I don’t mind the presence of people around me, I even like it as long as I am not interrupted. That’s why I often go to cafeterias to get some work done. I am in the company of others and I do enjoy this somewhat social environment. Yet since noone bothers me I get to focus on my work.
How do you live like that though?
That’s not how I live all the time. When I’m done with my projects, I enjoy meeting others.
What’s the problem then?
Nothing on my part. But some people find it hard to grasp this idea. They want to book you for a day or something. They are offended, they feel rejected if you refuse to hang out with them whole day. I am sure there are some people out tere who would love to be booked for a day. Have fun for 24/7. It’s jut that I am not one of them. I’m just a “part time friend” and it’s not because I hate them or I don’t respect them. If they only get that and respect that without taking the wrong way we’d all be fine.

Do you take breaks when you work?
I try my best not to. Because I need a certain flow while I’m working. Once I get to get into it, I’d like to stick with my lane.
Why?
Because if you get out, even just for a minute, it takes me at least another half an hour to get back to my “focused state” that I was in, sometimes even longer. And sometimes I’m completely out of it. I mean it’s just gone.
Don’t you have e-mails to check no phones to answer, etc.?
No, no, no! That’s gotta be taken care of some other time. Especially creativity is concerned. It’s a monster you don’t wanna mess with. If it happens to be in the room with you gotta take advantage of it, as much as you can. Milk it with extreme speed. It really does pour when it rains. But when it’s gone…oh boy!
What about people who don’t necessarily have to be creative at their work?
It may not exactly be the same, but still, if you’re talking about concentration, it’s better to be totally isolated, at least mentally, from anything or anyone that could possibly distract you.
What about the people who have to work at offices, share desks, etc.?
Depends on who you’re working with I suppose.
What do you mean?
I mean if your boss and co-workers understand how you function best and respect your space, I think you’d be fine.
But who can guarantee that?
I don’t know, but I think this is one of the biggest problems in this world that’s run by extroverts. They might not necessarily get the importance of space for an introvert. The thing is that they, meaning the extrovert bosses managers, would be the ones who would benefit from it the most, if they simply choose to aknowledge an introvert’s needs instead of trying to force a cookie-cutter system that does no good for no one, however odd they may seem