Hi, my name is Millie (surname: Darling). Some call me “the Olive Eyes”. I am a cat I live with Lisa and her parents and their ugly dog Rudolf. I love mango juice milk and carrot cake. I break stuff by accident.
My Watch isn't Lasagna Proof
Evidently my wrist watch isn’t lasagna proof. I assumed that it was water resistant, because let’s face it the expensive ones always are, and since Lisa loves me very much and she is the one who buys most of my watches, I expected no less from from her.On the other hand, I am a cat, I tend to stay away from water or any other liquid for that matter, milk and mango juice are exception needless to say, so I was never hundred percent sure.
Anyway, Lisa’s mom was making lasagna and I happened to be playing hide and seek with her earrings that she had left on the living room coffee table, she does that a lot. One thing led to another and I found myself paw deep in her lasagna while she was out checking the mail. She showed up yelling, “What are you doing? What are you doing?!”
I thought it was pretty obvious... Read more
Busted Fridge Exploring
It was 3 a.m. I was minding my own business in the fridge, then I heard footsteps. Could it be Rudolf, the family dog? Of course! Who else would be up and about at that hour besides me? Usually his response to finding me eating someone’s birthday cake is a mean growl which, I have to admit, sends chills down my spine, if I’m sitting upright that is. Taking under consideration how quickly he had figured how to open the fridge door the last time, I knew I didn’t have much time. I closed the box, pushed it back then I hid behind the yoghurt container on the upper shelf and pretended that I was a cabbage. For those who is not familiar with combat art, it’s a form of camouflage, a mind trick if you will. Did he find me anyway? Yes.
Verdict: Don’t trust your instincts unless a risk ISN’T involved.
The Most Beautiful Girl?
Lisa’s mom says she is the most beautiful girl in the World, behind her back, mind you. What’s that all about? She says it to her father, to her friends, even to her petunias, well actually it was just that one time but still counts, right? In other words, there is no stopping this woman going on and on about how pretty her daughter is.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Lisa and she is NOT ugly by any means but the prettiest...? Hmm… I don’t know about that. I mean… what does her mom base this on? Has she actually gone through a thorough catalog of the Most Beautiful Girls in the World?
Hey, take me for example. I am pretty too. But you never see my mom going around shouting it from the rooftops, do you? Then again… Lisa’s mom calls me “pumpkin pie” when she lets me out in the morning and Lisa shares her carrot cake with me; we’re alright.
It Wasn't Expensive, was it?
I woke up early today. Come to think of it I wake up early everyday; like around 1 a.m. or something. After messing around with the blue cables of our living room stereo system for an hour or two, I tend to leave it alone and start playing my world famous “Dare Gravity Now! Games”. One couldn’t and wouldn’t call it an uncommon occurrence if I ended up, as always, unintentionally breaking a few things. Problem? Kind of. But nothing that a quick visit to a famous Swedish furniture store around the corner couldn’t fix. We even get ice-cream on the way there (quick note: not every time, though; meaning: sometimes we don’t). Sometimes the situation may turn a bit unpleasant if the noise wakes someone from the household up who was in the middle of a delightful dream. On the other hand, however, if that someone happened to be seeing a nightmare at the time it’s completely a different story; I may get milk and a slice of carrot cake (200 - 300 grams), not to mention company... Read More
Ghost Shark Panorama
Call it a hunch but I think Rudolf is afraid of sharks, or maybe he is just afraid of horror movies, or both, who knows?
It was two days ago; Lisa and I were watching the latest shark movie “Ghost Shark Panorama” that we had heard so much about. We started in the middle by the way because we had already seen the first half but the dvd had stopped when it got to the scratch marks and Lisa had to go and buy another copy. Needless to say, she thought it was best if she inserted the disc inside the dvd player without my help this time while I waited in the car. Yes, the doors were locked and the house alarm was on but that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t see her through the passenger side window which, incidentally, faced the one-piece living room glass that was replaced only a month ago, I guess it had something to do with my big red rubber ball; I’m not quite sure.
